Thursday, November 04, 2004

USJ

Ok, this is going to be my last political post for a while per Deo's comments on the previous post. This shit is too depressing. I went through all the typical stages of grieving: depression, anger, approximately 10 hours of Grand Theft Auto (the release of which was clearly timed to suppress turnout among 18 to 30 yr olds), and finally acceptance.

I got an email from my pal Becky, who is currently living in London, with a link too a terrific rant. You can check it out here . It's on a blog called postmoderncourtesan.com, which is apparently written by a high end call girl. Postmodernists and courtesans are both folks I deeply respect (I guess she does her job with a slight hint of irony), so I forwarded it to some folks, and got a lot of responses from people who thought I was the one who had written it. One of them was from a guy named Art in CA, who sent me a letter he wrote to the New Yorker. He doubts it'll get published, so I'm posting it for our immoral readers.

Art:
"OK…enough! Maybe we really should peacefully divide into two independent Special Administrative Regions. The states that voted for Kerry will be called the United States of Yorkafornia (USY), giving recognition to the Big Apple and California for their size. Kerry will be the president of it. It will still have the second or third largest economy in the world, and will lead the world in scientific discovery and information technology.

Then Bush will be the president of all the remaining states, with their hatred of evolution, abortion, stem cell research, fair taxation, control of assault weapons, gays, gay marriages, black people, and all brown people. It will be The United States of Jesus (USJ), (or Jezustan for short), which is a pretty easy change for them since it rhymes with their former country, the USA, and they will love Jesus being in the name of their country. They can all sit around and argue about the things THEY care about, like what the day of ‘rapture’ will be like when Jesus returns to earth to kill everyone but them. They can debate about whether their glasses and gold fillings will rise with them into heaven when Jesus finally returns. They can expound about the unbelievable luxuries they will have in heaven, and about the details of the agonizing hell most of the people in Yorkafornia will endure for eternity. They can agree it is vicious murder to use embryonic cells that could sit comfortably on the sharp point of a pin to develop treatments for Parkinson’s disease and spinal chord injury, even though the owners of the cells have decreed they may never be placed into a uterus to develop further and, if not used in research, will be discarded. They can all piously agree that gay marriages will ruin real marriages, while more than half of their own marriages already end in divorce and their politicians eagerly engage in fornication. They can assassinate each other’s characters endlessly as George W. Bush, Jeb Bush, John Ashcroft, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Karl Rove, Ollie North, and Newt Gingrich all compete with each other for the presidency of USJ. Freed from the need to debate with persons from Yorkafornia, they can much more easily have impulsive wars, especially against brown people.

Eventually the people of USJ will begin to loose the ability to do arithmetic and even to speak intelligibly -- totally inbred and hugely overweight by Yorkafornian standards. Unfortunately after that, Yorkafornia no longer will be able to outsource most of its unpleasant jobs to the USJ, and emigration from USJ to USY will have to be seriously curtailed."

6 Comments:

Blogger a_little_groovin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Hmm...I sort of think I might know this Art fellow. Not a Stanford email address, is it?

1:31 AM  
Blogger Palli said...

Why can't you just accept that the president won a well deserved decisive victory and this is a time when we should support our president instead of whining about the result for months. Did you forget that we are at a war ?!?

1:28 PM  
Blogger Duane said...

Hi Palli, I never really understood the we-need-to-support-our-president-no-matter-what-because-we're-at-war-argument. If our leaders do something wrong they've got to be called on it. Democracy only works if an educated and informed public can keep their leaders accountable. This keeps us out of war unless it's absolutely neccessary.

...but I think you're right in that Bush's win has to be accepted. I think the whining has less to do with the fairness of the election, and more to do with the fact that this country is so deeply divided. That's what's depressing. This isn't the country I thought it was. Over half the people in this country don't believe in the freedom to marry who you want. Over half the people in this country believe that their personal religious beliefs should override the liberty and freedoms of others. Over half the people in this country don't care that the President didn't do his job well enough to avert war and the deaths of over a 1000 Americans and god knows how many Iraqis.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the problem with the whole 'Gay Marriage' thing is semantics... I think that if people would call it a Civil Union, most religious people would be in favor of it.

Most people I've talked to [I run in a religious circle] and it's not that most of us are opossed to the same benefits that a typical hetero 'union' gets; most are afraid that churches will be required to perform the cermonies of Marriage [which a Christian considers a union blessed by God - which is quite different to them than a Civil Union].

Currently there are laws in several states that force Catholic employers to provide services that go against the religion [so much for seperation of church and state]. Those same laws force Catholic Hospitals to perform abortions [which most people know is against their religion].

I think fear is the driving force behind this issue, when education should be the driving force.

BTW I think Art has some serious issues that could use massive amounts of medication.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Duane said...

I feel pretty comfortable in saying that one of the things the civil rights movement has taught us is that separate cannot be equal. By creating two types of citizens: those who can marry and those who can only join in civil unions, you're creating two castes of people, something which is anathema to the principles on which this country was based. If it's just a matter of semantics, the government needs to get out of the marriage business completely and only administer civil unions.

As far as Catholic institutions being forced to marry couples or being forced to perform abortions, I think you're sort of mischaracterizing it. As far as I understand it, institutions that take government money (e.g. Catholic hospitals) have certain reponsibilities to the communities they serve because those communities are paying the bill. Separation of church and state is fine. Just don't take the money. Secondly, there's no way the government could force the catholic chuch to marry gay couples. A church could refuse to marry interracial couples (e.g. the Mormon church up to the 70s) or those who aren't of their faith. If a church wants to discriminate, it's still a free country.

Finally, I think it's unfortunate that the Catholic church is taking an anti-gay marriage position. Nowhere does Jesus say anything about gay marriage being wrong.

3:54 PM  

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