Wednesday, December 01, 2004

The Immoral Minority

The Immoral Minority

Sexual Healing from Across the Pond

Boy, do I love living in ultra liberal, holier-than-thou London. Never mind that there are no conveniences such as pre-grated cheese and pre-chopped carrots, nor a little thing called air conditioning or tumble dryers, nor "large" pizzas that are actually bigger than your face, nor a working transport system, nor sinks with one tap for both hot and cold water ensuring that you will not alternatingly scald and freeze yourself when trying to wash your face (but why bother washing your face anyway? all that pollution will never be cleaned off). Never mind all that third world shite because people here don't have vocal religious political zealots that ACTUALLY HAVE ANY KIND OF POWER. Nope, they sent those daft scarlet-letter wearing fanatics off to America's shores on the Mayflower centuries ago. Smart buggers.

Oh yes, I love living here now that they've decided that all of America is made up of stupid jesus nutters. For example, Time Out this week quotes: "'Speak to your pastors immediately because Satan is attempting to enter your mind.' - A US Christian group tells its members what to do if they're tempted to watch Oliver Stone's homoerotic Alexander the Great biopic."

Funny as hell, but this kind of branding does not help our Blue State, we drink Chilean wine, watch artful Scandanavian films and can get over 50% on the geography olympics cause. (OK, I really got 40% on the geography olympics. And the best part is I'm getting a PhD in geogrpahy... the cultural kind though.)

Hey, do you think we could start a charity where we raise money from Limeys and Surrender Monkeys to get everyone in the Red States laid properly???


Blogger shannon said...

nope, i'm sorry, getting laid properly is outlawed in red states. the act must be either a) over in ten minutes followed by 3 hours of prayer, b) for the sole purpose of producing another red stater, or c) both.

though the reasoning behind the Alexander boycott isn't even a little bit sound in that instance, i do support such a boycott. i've heard it's the most boring 3+ hours in the history of cinema. i also heard it could have used about 40% more homoeroticism to make it at least somewhat interesting.

11:40 AM  

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