Monday, December 13, 2004

Will you please stop bludgeoning me over the head with Julia Roberts?

I saw Ocean's 12 over the weekend, and it was fine. Not as good as the first one, of course, and the plot was very thin and illogical. But I was there for the cool music, the cool clothes, and my boys* Matt, George and Brad. I was also pleased by the addition of Catherine Zeta-Jones, Eddie Izzard, and Robbie Coltrane. Very cool.

But they insisted on asking her back for the sequel. Now, don't get me wrong, I used to be pleasantly indifferent to Julia Roberts. She is (and always will be) an average actress. Yet she has become this thing; America's Sweetheart, everyone must worship the Roberts, blah blah blah. I still can't find a rabid Julia Roberts fan. I know plenty of people who think she's okay, but nobody ever says, "Wow. Julia Roberts. She was fantastic in ____." Pretty Woman? Mystic Pizza? And don't bring up the Brokovich thing. Nine times out of ten, playing a real person** will garner an Oscar. I just don't get what the big deal is, and I'm tired of her being shoved down my throat every five minutes.

Anyway, without giving too much away, there's a weird plot point in Ocean's Twelve involving our Miss Roberts that made me want to vomit. It pulled me right out of the movie, messed with the cool factor, and lowered my estimation of all parties involved.

They also woefully underused the supporting characters (Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck, Asian Guy, Guy who plays Casey Affleck's brother, and Mousy Guy) that made the first one so funny and entertaining.

Despite all that, I will say it was light and fun to watch; a perfect movie to leave on TV while you're doing something else, and I'll definitely be picking up the soundtrack. But it won't end up on my shelf next to Ocean's 11.

*They get disappointed if I don't see their movies. Brad is still miffed because I refuse to see Meet Joe Black.

**The same is true if you play a hooker, and Julia's Brokovich wardrobe was pretty much leftover stuff from Pretty Woman (from the parts where she actually dressed like a streetwalker, not the whole Eliza Doolittle make over part, which I still maintain should have involved a healthy round of tests performed by Richard Gere's private doctor).


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