Monday, August 01, 2005

Eight Elements of an Exemplary Wedding

The bride and groom are wonderful people both individually and as a couple. They are perfectly matched.1

The weather is beautiful.

The ceremony is performed by a friend.2

The flowers are wild.

The reception is at an art museum.3

The children are cute and well behaved.

There is no throwing of either a bouquet or a garter.4

The bride looks lovely and elegant whether she is sipping champagne at the reception, or munching fries at a diner.

1In spirit and attire--not to say they both wore gowns, of course, but their outfits complemented each other. Formal wear is known for being terribly polite.

2By having a friend officiate, the bride and groom can be sure their ceremony design will remain intact. My cousin had a priest who decided to throw in 20 minutes of obscure bible trivia halfway through the ceremony. I pray he was drunk.

3A kickin’ art museum. However, guests were discouraged from sloshing wine on the paintings…most inconvenient.

4Not that there’s anything wrong with that…but it's horribly tacky.


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